Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
