By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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