do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
