She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
