no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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