I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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