You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
