Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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