why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
