oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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