Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
