i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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