She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
