I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want to have your abortion
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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