matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
