Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
