what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
