i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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