no, he came in my armpit
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
