Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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