We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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