so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
