I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
