so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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