I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
