Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
