dude i'm inner monologue high
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
