Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
