Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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