Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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