called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
