I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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