I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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