do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
