No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
