absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
