i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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