sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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