Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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