so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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