your parents love me but you hate me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize