And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
