the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
