I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was confusing and full of hummus
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
