you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I party with great urgency now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize