sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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