So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize