used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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