We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
