Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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