Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.