Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..