and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes