haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?