im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.