umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
