she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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