Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize