so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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