It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
