I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
