It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
