This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
