The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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