oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
