i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
