I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
